Spring Cleaning

A few weeks ago, I was hunting for a rat in my bed room. That was also the perfect moment to do some spring cleaning.

It had been a while since I've last pushed the bed and peeked under the headboard. Piles of boxes and plastic containers were covered by dust bunnies. I patiently pulled out each one, dusted them off and opened them to see what was inside. At the end of the day, I found myself reminiscing.

Baby pictures were scattered across the wooden floor. Some pictures reminded me of the people in my past. Some of them I still know very well now, others, I do not. Most of them I miss, while the rest don't really matter...I think. That's the funny thing about pictures, they give you mixed emotions.

Along with the box of pictures were other boxes - gifts, from my old loves. Some of them were necklaces, Hot wheels sets (I was crazy about them before), letters, mixed tapes/cds, bracelets and cards.

I read the letters again. Some of them, I wanted to burn. The others, gave me the answers I've been searching for for months. Gifts, just like photographs, also give you mixed emotions.

There's just really one thing to it, it's the past. For most of us, we struggle to overcome it and move forward. For others, they choose to run away and completely forget about it. The rest, are still buried in it. The past is a tricky thing. I am a combination of everything.

After four hours of cleaning, I placed a bunch of the things I found back to where I found them. The others, I pushed them farther back, hoping not to see them anytime soon. I don't really dispose of things I have mixed emotions about. It's best to just hide until you're ready to deal with them. The few ones, I kept close to my pile of things now.

I know it's not always good to hold on to the past. But I guess sometimes, we have to choose what we hold on to. The past isn't entirely a bad thing. At times, they guide you in finding out the answers to present questions.

Hopefully, now, I finally find what it is I'm looking for.